4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize