You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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