FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
