So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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