this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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