How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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