Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize