I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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