I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
