If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
