I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
