his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
