today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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