How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
