When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
