...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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