just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Randomize
