So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
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