Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
