piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
