woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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