Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
