flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
