I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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