Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
