New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
