I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
