I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I can't put those talents on a resume
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Randomize
