Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
