He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize