I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
