Pants 0. Shit 1.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm both gender and math confused
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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