Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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