I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
