I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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