How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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