it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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