I skipped work to stalk him.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am available for nakedness
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
