You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
