im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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