She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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