She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
