i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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