I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
