I wish i was in the wii world.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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