I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
