Dual....:-)
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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