We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
