everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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