Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
