bring money and cleavage
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
