I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
