I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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