I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
ok first of all what the fuck
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
