It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
