haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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