Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
