me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
