Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
