Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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