I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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