In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
