Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
