I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
