Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
