brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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