if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Randomize
