yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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