ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
