I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize