You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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