I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
