You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
