I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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