we have pet lesbian snakes
You smell like stripper and shame
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
