Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
