Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
