I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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