We won't sleep together?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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